Wondering Where Your Romance Went?

Remember the Fred and Ginger movie which included the song A Fine Romance? The words went something like this: ‘A fine romance; with no kisses, a fine romance; my friend, this is?” Has the romance gone out of your marriage? Here are some ways to bring the romance back into your marriage, and then some.

Spend a quiet evening together. Have someone baby sit the kids out of the house. Turn off the TV, the telephone, and all other distractions. Have a candlelight dinner. This will set the mood and the tone for the evening.

Hey hubby! Call your wife and ask her out on a date! Choose a special low-key restaurant with candlelight and a fireplace, and pick her up at 8. Here’s another idea.
Each week, plan to meet at a specific place at a specific time; you and your spouse can take turns choosing the place. Plan something special; surprise each other. The anticipation will put you both in the mood very quickly. Think An Affair To Remember: Part II!

Have a themed dinner. Recreate your honeymoon night. Perhaps you spent it in the Caribbean. Prepare a Caribbean meal; decorate your home to suit the occasion, and go with it! Let your imagination run wild.

Ladies, prepare a romantic evening by setting candles all around your home; play a CD with romantic music; buy a few bottles of your favorite wine; and set the mood for your spouse. Meet your spouse at the door wearing an especially stunning piece of lingerie.

How about a cozy fare? Perhaps setting a blanket on the floor in front of the fireplace, with candles, a bottle of wine; and a picnic basket filled with cheeses and crackers and grapes! How romantic is that? You know, if you and your spouse were romantic to begin with, it won’t take much of a stretch to rekindle that fire. Sometimes, life gets in the way.
Certainly you can spare one night to bring back the romance into your marriage.

No One Said Marriage Was Easy

Marriage usually begins with “once upon a time,” but may eventually turn into a less- palpable story of heartache and woe.  Marriage isn’t a one-way street - it’s filled with twists and turns; paths not taken which could lead to dead-ends.  Here are some tips on how couples can work together to maintain a successful marriage.

While everything may seen fine in the beginning, all too often a situation may arise which is fraught with yelling and bickering.  This can be avoided by calmly and thoughtfully talking out the problem that will result in a resolution both can accept.

One of the many problems among couples today is they don’t listen to each other.  Each is talking at the same time or above each other’s voice, and fails to really hear what the other is saying.  Communication is the key to any good relationship and marriage is no exception.

Some couples will always find something irritating about each other.  If he tells you something he doesn’t like about you, don’t respond with a counterattack, but acknowledge his feelings and talk it out.  The same is true for you, too.  If you find there is something he does that is irritating, don’t express it in anger, discuss it rationally and work it out together.  Try not to hold anything in as it’s not healthy and can increase the stress level for you both.

If he wants more from you sexually than you are willing to give, talk about ways in which you can compromise so that both of you are fulfilled in this area.  One expert suggests couples should “talk about feelings, not failures.”  This is great advice.  Often times a couple may say something hurtful and demeaning to the other.  This doesn’t solve anything, but increases animosity.

Marriage involves two people, and it is these two people who should come together in a democratic forum whenever decision-making is involved.  Each should be satisfied with the decision and, if necessary, a compromise can be reached.

Many years ago, the expression, “I am king of the castle,” was used by many husbands to define their marriage.  Times have changed and the balance has tipped between men and women.  No one should be king or queen but partners in a marriage designed to enhance the lives of two, not one.

While our parents may have lived in a castle, this is certainly not the vision of most couples today.  No one person “rules the roost” any longer, and if they do, immediate changes should be undertaken to make the home a loving partnership involving two people.

Marriage isn’t a one-way street. While it is a road paved with bumps and curves, it is a road in which there is enough room for two to walk side by side in harmony and love.

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